Thursday, 24 June 2010

Flea in the Ear?

For the last couple of weeks I have been having a few problems hearing clearly!  What?  Pardon?  Eh?  Yeah, Yeah!

Anyway, I was SO fed up with it that I decided to go to the Walk-In Centre in Milton Keynes.  Those of you who know me well will realise that I have been really p***ed off as I do not go to see a doctor unless I think it is SERIOUS!

  • quite a walk
  • then - a wait and
  • more waiting and
  • more waiting and
  • more waiting
                      got the picture?  It was busy and every very young or very old patient who came in
                      got priority.

FINALLY :- I see a lovely young nurse.

      "Well", she says.  "The ear you say is causing you the most aggravation is NOT blocked - there IS fluid indicating a viral infection probably due to conjestion.  The other ear, however, IS blocked.  I would like you to see a Doctor for a second opinion".

Back to the waiting room to ................ wait and .............. wait and ...............

The Doctor.  He looks in my ear and says, " Yes!  You have an insect blocking the ear canal!"  

I turn white ................. then red with shame and embarrassment.

"It's OK", he says comfortingly, "it IS a dead insect!".


He tries to remove it with tweezers to no avail and sends me on my way saying that nobody has ever before died from having a dead insect in their ear!!!!

(I hope you are laughing, Ken!!!!)

Just on my way out I am accosted  by the nurse who wasn't happy about the Doctor (I think he was Eastern European!) leaving it like this.  She felt it was an infection waiting to happen and suggested I go to A & E!!

My naturally pale complexion became even paler!

"Hang on a minute", she says "let me ask another doctor - a lady!!

Said female Doctor tried to remove the alien body with tweezers and, like her colleague, failed.  Did she give up though?  No she did not!  Out came a sort of flush-it-out-machine and after a few seconds, there in a metal receptacle was the black remains of .................. a SPIDER!!!!!!!  OK it was a small spider but nevertheless, ..................... a SPIDER!!!!



Muttering my eternal gratitude on leaving, my parting shot was to tell them that at least |I had added variety to their work - it can't be every day someone needs to have a SPIDER (albeit dead!!) removed from the ear!!

That ear actually now feels more comfortable but the other one is still horrid!

Give me fleas anytime!


  1. Yeeeeee uch! Poor you how long had it been there I wonder, you can get ear plugs in Boots which would stop anything getting in again and they are a fetching shade of orange!!!!

  2. O.K. Orange ear plugs I can grow to love, I can't wait to hear your sugestions to stop her eating the spider when it finds out that ears are off!! Tee Hee. John.

  3. Maybe you should just cut your losses and buy food instead (Duck tape is an alternative!)

  4. Are you sure he was definitely dead.... apparently male spiders play dead to attract the ladies... was he lying there with everything crossed looking hopeful! Ha ha what a story!