Wanted: Good Interpretation Skills

Every now and then, especially on busy stretches of canal, boaters feel an urgent need to engage in a variety of wild gesticulations in an attempt to communicate their intentions to other users.  These gesticulations are often accompanied by confusing shouts and grunts which are generally inaudible and of no help whatsoever.  
Lucky motorists have documented guidance regarding the use of hand signals in the form of The Highway Code but the poor old skipper on the tiller has to rely on his/her own creativity.  Rarely are the same signals seen twice.
Boaters make signals expecting you to know exactly what they mean ……  Pit your wits at these …… What CAN they possibly mean?




1.     Is that lock full or empty?
               OR
     Don’t you just love Madonna?  Vague or Vogue?








 2.  I need to fill up with water.  The tap's just over there.
                                             OR
       Get in there now and do that washing up.               
                                                                                
        
                                                                                           


                                                                         


                             
3.  It’s so good to see you!  Give us a hug.
                            OR
     Leave both lock gates open, we’re on our way.





                                                                    




4.  There's one more boat following me.
                                OR
      One sugar in mine please.

Enough of this nonsense but, take it from me, strange signals do happen on a regular basis!  They are usually ambiguous and full of mystery but are definitely entertaining.